In which I ignore my summer sabbatical from blogging to talk about the weather

Rainy season never ended in Jakarta this year. Normally by September, I'm breaking a sweat two minutes after I walk outside into muggy, thick heat. But this year, month after month has brought thunderstorms or plain rain up to several times a week. Someone told me it's El Nino or La Nina, but I'm not complaining. I've always loved a good thunderstorm, and rain in Jakarta beats down the pollution, cools the heat, and leaves us with blue skies and fresh air.

Of course, enjoying rain is a something of a luxury, one that I usually enjoy from indoors or inside a taxi. For many people, rain is a inconvenience and a hassle that does more than just snarl traffic beyond ordinary wretchedness, but I love the ingenuity and preparedness that I see in Jakartans. If you're out driving when the first drops start to fall, you'll see lines of motorbikes pulled over on the side of the road while riders retrieve rain jackets, ponchos, waterproof pants, or even large garbage bags from their storage compartments. Street vendors stretch tarps over their carts, and people find any kind of roof under which to wait out the rain.

I was not so prepared last week. When I decided to make a quick trip to the grocery store last weekend for some last-minute ingredients to round out a salad for a potluck, I knew that I was flirting dangerously with the growly-looking weather. I would have stuck an umbrella in my purse, but somehow I've lost both my umbrellas. I made it to the mini-bus before the heavens opened, but by the time I needed to get off, I knew that I couldn't avoid getting very wet. I dashed into the grocery store, getting some laughs from the security guards, who laughed again when they saw me walk out.

My grocery list?
2 yellow peppers
1 candy bar
1 umbrella

Australia (alternatively titled: "What has taken me so long?")

Australia was not the trip that I would planned for myself (that is amply demonstrated by the numerous times we went shopping, the lack of museum visits, and the vast numbers of photos of students that I took, photos that I will not be showing you because I think it would be weird if pictures of me popped up in my teacher's blog), but it was still a great trip, not least because I got to see some of my students outside of the school context.

And it was Australia, where I felt surprisingly at home and started playing the "where would I live in Australia?" game (answer: Melbourne).

Brief chronology:
Sydney--We arrived Tuesday morning after an overnight flight and left Saturday morning. We spent some time visiting our "sister" and "brother" secondary schools and touring the University of Sydney and the University of New South Wales.

Brisbane/Gold Coast--We arrived late Saturday morning and stayed in a tourist town called Surfer's Paradise. We were here for pure theme park pleasure: DreamWorld and MovieWorld. We left early Monday morning.

Melbourne: We visited two more universities (Monash University and the University of Melbourne) on Monday and Tuesday before flying back (via Sydney) on Wednesday.

Ok, so you knew these pictures were coming, so I'll just get the Opera House out of the way right from the beginning. It's an incredible structure, and we saw it on a beautiful day, so I had way too much fun experimenting I've spared you from many of the "playing around with these cool functions on my camera," but forgive me if I still have too many favorites.


Here's what I mean when I said that it looks kind of funny from close up. Please ignore the tilt.


And my postcard perfect picture?

Thank you "vivid blue" function.

I don't know if you can tell from the photos, but Sydney Harbour (should I include the "u" in harbor or not?) is really big, much bigger than it looks in Finding Nemo.

This is the Harbour Bridge (to get into your best Australian accent, trying dropping your "arrrs" when you say "harbour). It's not on quite as many postcards as the Opera House, but it's definitely a city landmark. If I'm ever in Sydney again, I want to do the Bridge Climb to the top.

Isn't it cool? When deciding on a print to buy as a souvenir, I wanted to say "I was in Sydney" not "I WAS IN SYDNEY!" so I went for the Bridge and not the Opera House.
I would like to explore Sydney more. It has modern skyscrapers and office buildings.


But also beautiful older buildings.


And it has Bondi Beach, where I was able to spend a whole afternoon. When the kids wanted to go shopping for the umpteenth time, our tour guide let me stay at the beach for a couple of extra hours. Reading, walking on the beach, people watching, sunbathing, swimming in the ocean, and playing in the waves made for a beautiful afternoon.

Again with the tilt. I'm sorry. My head must have been on crooked.

I don't have many pictures from the theme parks on the Gold Coast because roller coasters are pretty much the same the world over, but I had encounters with Australian wildlife in DreamWorld. Here's the baby koala I held. It had some cheesy name like "Pepper," but it was very cute and soft.

I'm pretty sure that I petted a kangaroo, but I actually don't remember. They were really placid, trying to stay cool at midday, so I saw no bouncing, only this slow, strange way that kangaroos move when they're not bouncing, which kinds of looks like a swing set or the wheels of a locomotive.

I have no good pictures of the Melbourne sights. For example, this one has runner blur and bus glare, but I really did like Melbourne. It seems like an interesting town with a strong arts and culture scene. It has a good public transportation system, and it actually has coolish weather, so I got to wear a jacket. If Sydney is a cool place to visit, then Melbourne is where I would actually want to live.


Here's the place where I had the yummy Vietnamese soup pho and where I laughed at the sign on the window.

And then, just like that, we were back.

Overall? A beautiful trip.

Dah-ling Hah-bah
(Darling Harbour)

It's not you...

Dear blog,

I have neglected you sorely lately. Ever since I got back from Australia, I've had grand plans to put up beautiful pictures of the sights I saw to show the fun I had. But you know what coming back from a trip is like. There's dirty laundry to wash and souvenirs to distribute to friends and then there's work to catch up on.


Ah yes, the work. It seems like a mountain of work was waiting for me when I got back, and I'm still not out from under it. It seems like no matter what I do (waking up early, staying late at school, clearing my weekend schedule), the work doesn't go away or get any better. And frankly, this month has been a long stretch of feeling like I'm not cutting it. I'm behind on grading, and when I get stressed, my apartment goes to pieces, and I forget to buy groceries and decide that popcorn for dinner isn't such a bad idea--again, and then the procrastination starts and then I'm swamped again, feeling like I'm failing my students, feeling disappointed with myself, feeling like I'm just not good at life right now.


I'm hoping that I've turned a corner. I'm hoping that April showers bring May flowers. I'm hoping that the women's retreat I'm going to this weekend will be a time of refreshing, a time of feeling the Savior's love and encouragement, a time of renewal.


I'm hoping.


Warmly,
Laura

Australian Ode

Oh what a joy,

To drink water from the tap.

Australian Lament

The trouble with coming to Australia
in autumn
is that they are all summer brown,
while I
(an indoor creature in Jakarta,
who moves from air-conditioned space
to air-conditioned space)
am white white white,

until I got sunburn
on the backs of my legs.

Surprises

When I asked one of my students what was surprising about Australia, she said PDA (a newly aquiredand quickly adopted acronym for her) and prices.

Yes, Australian boyfriends and girlfriends are more demonstrative than their Indonesian counterparts, and yes, stuff is much more expensive, but for me, Australia feels comfortable. I understand people (how exciting to eavesdrop again!), and I can make myself understood. I don't have the constant nagging feeling that I'm doing something wrong to offend someone.

So beside the theme park and getting to hold a koala, besides visiting Bondi Beach, besides meeting with Australian teachers, besides the good food and lovely hotel, it's been nice to feel a little bit closer to my cultural home.

Of course, I broadcast my "not-from-hereness" as soon as I take out ridiculously large bill, fumble with change, or open my mouth and let forth my Midwestern accent. But when I apologize or say thank you, I hear that wonderful Australian expression in reply:

"No worries."

Sydney, briefly

It's impossible to describe any trip without resorting to cliches like amazing and incredible, but so far, this one has been pretty good, particularly because it's a treat to interact with my students outside of school. We've done a little too much shopping and not enough museum-going for my taste, but I only have my parents to blame for my taste. I'm taking pictures of all the things you would expect me to photograph (Opera House, students, city at night, waterfront), and some of them have even turned out well. We still have a few days left in Sydney and a bit more free time, so I'm hoping to see more and find some souvenirs that are better than a koala keychain. I have seen some items for sale made from unmentionable parts of a kangaroo, but I don't think those will make it into my suitcase.

Just a snippet that made me laugh today: Outside the Queen Victoria Building (shopping center), there's a majestic statue of the lovely queen, and a few yards away, there's a much less majestic but much more entertaining fountain that features Ivan, the queen's beloved Scottish terrier. The money tossed in goes to charities for deaf and blind kids. If you stand nearby, every couple of minutes you'll hear a recording say:

"Hello, my name is Ivan. I was once the companion and friend of the great Queen Victoria. Because of the many good deeds I have done for the deaf and blind children, I have been given the power of speech. If you cast a coin into the wishing well now, I will say thank you. (Pause.) Thank you. (Woof! Woof!)

And if you're like me, you'll laugh a lot and then whip out a notepad to take notes.

I'm going to...

Australia! We leave tonight, and tomorrow morning, I add my sixth continent to my travels. Wish me luck! With 33 kids, 4 chaperones, and 3 cities to visit, it's sure to be eventful. I wish I could insert an Australian joke here, but I have too many friends from down under who would seriously roll their eyes. I'll just say that I'm taking orders for koala-themed souvenirs.

Pictures and stories to come soon.

Finally some Singapore Pictures...

"What's with the no blogging recently?" asks my sister. Good question. Question to which I have no good answer. So I'll just put up some of my Singapore pictures as an apology.

We started at the airport.

We ate these yummy noodle pancake things
with sugar (the orange stuff) and shredded coconut for breakfast.

We rode this bus.

Don't worry; we wore sunscreen.

The bus took us through Little India.

We ate lunch near here.

We enjoyed art.

What is this, you ask?

A merlion, obviously. You heard it right.
Not a mermaid or a merman but a merlion.

We played with mirrors in a jewelry store before
one of us got a nose piercing. (Hint: it wasn't me.)

I liked taking pictures in Little India of people,

vegetables,

and shoes.

We went to Chinatown on Chinese New Year's Eve.

I got fancy with my camera.

It was crowded.

And colorful.

We went to the night safari.
I have no more good pictures of it because it was dark.

We bought bangles from this store in Little India.
Did I mention that we liked Little India?

We had fun.

For my amusement...

Because Indonesia has no reason to care about the Olympics, I haven't watched any of the Olympics this year, though I've been casually following the events through Internet news. You have not idea how it hurts me as a self-professed Olympics junkie to be only casually following. So until this morning, I had only seen about three minutes of biathlon at the Singapore airport on the way back to Jakarta a couple of weeks ago. By the way, what a strange sport that one is. And this morning, when I was talking to my parents, they pointed the webcam at the TV so that I could see the Olympic-themed commercials, the end of a cross-country event, and one Georgian figure skater's routine. And that was fun...until my computer froze and crashed. Yes, the computer problems linger. No, I don't want to talk about it.

I've been running at the gym recently, but I'm trying not to make too big a deal out of it because I'm hoping that it's a habit and not just a brief craze. Of course, by running, I mean jogging extremely slowly. And I'm clearly a novice because yesterday when I went to the gym, I entered all my information (type of workout, weight, incline, and speed) and was standing there gearing myself up when the machine timed out and turned off, but then something must have gone wrong because the screen was flashing and asking for a password, and I was pressing buttons right and left, and I thought about changing machines, but this is my favorite (yes, I have a favorite treadmill already), and so I just kept hitting buttons and when it finally restarted, the treadmill was speaking German. But, coward that I am, I did my "run" and then left. I'll keep you posted if this is a permanent translation problem.

Oh, and Australia is definite! Wahoo!

Oh, they make me laugh

Question: Can you name any people from Russian history?
Answer: Napoleon Dynamite!

Wins and Woes

So according to my track record, it seems like January is just not my month to blog. I could blame it on the weather, but this is my favorite time of year in Jakarta. In rainy season, it's much cooler and clearer. The mountains off to the south are visible most mornings, and I saw stars the other night. Even though the rain has inconvenient effects on traffic, I can't complain about all the awesome thunderstorms.

More accurately, I could blame it on my computer woes, which include a bad motherboard, a ridiculously high and how-can-it-possibly-take-6-to-8-weeks estimate, eBay comparison shopping, a trip to North Jakarta's computer repair center, a much more reasonable quote, a phone call several days later informing that an LED and more money is involved, and general demoralization.

So this leaves my computer access limited to school's impossibly slow internet or my old computer whose hard drive issues leave it vulnerable to sudden freezing only remedied by rebooting.

My computer difficulties are all the more disappointing because it means that I can't share the pictures from my sweet new camera that I bought over the holiday. Pictures of the luggage locks that I broke with a pair of barely adequate to the job pliers when I lost my keys between Indianapolis and Jakarta. Pictures of street scenes taken during long taxi rides. Pictures of my Christmas decorations (which are still up...here's to family tradition). Pictures of the Jakarta skyline taken from my school.

Enough with the griping. Here are snippets of recent excitement.

I bought a guitar. A pretty little acoustic. I put it in my lap while I surf guitar lesson websites and try to learn my way around a fretboard. I have sore fingertips to prove it.

I'm on a mission to spruce up my apartment. New pillows transformed my couch. A new rug is next on the list.

I have started the new year of teaching 11th grade with some moderate successes. I have a new teaching partner, so we're still figuring out how to operate together, but I'm cautiously optimistic that this will be my best year yet.

I just started teaching kindergarten Sunday school, which takes me out of the high school world of novels, analysis, essays, discussions, and puts me into the world of coloring, learning to read, and total enthusiasm. Last week, I met a kid who tapped me on the arm every two minutes to tell me, "I went to the dentist this week, and I thought it was going to be scary, but it wasn't" and "I like pizza and KFC." When I asked them to draw pictures of the best and the worst thing that happened to them week, one kid's best was getting new underwear. I am utterly charmed by them.

I'm going to Singapore next weekend for Chinese New Year with Carol and Disha. We have Monday off for Chinese New Year, so we hoping to fully enjoy ourselves on good food and as many tourist attractions as we can cram into three days. I've always thought it would be cool to spend New Year's Eve in all the major cities of the world, but Indianapolis is my biggest city so far. So I feel spending Chinese New Year (or Lunar New Year as I should probably call it) in Singapore is a step in the right direction. Right?

In other travel plans,

[Just as a side note, it might seem like all I do over here is travel to interesting places, but in actual fact my life is mostly trying to educate young people, sometimes against their wills, which not always that thrilling to write about or to read. Plus, you don't have to travel far to find interesting places, so I try to hit as many as I can while I'm here.]

I'm probably going to Australia in March! I'm on the list of teachers to chaperone the 11th graders study tour to Sydney, Melbourne and the Gold Coast, and as long as five more kids sign up, I'm there. I'm a little apprehensive (other teachers have said it can be an exhausting or stressful trip), but mostly ecstatic. I'm going to add another stamp to my passport and another continent to my travel log.

Oh, and Colts in the Superbowl? Me = thrilled.

Selamat Tahun Baru

In keeping with tradition, I stopped blogging to enjoy my vacation, which was everything a good vacation should be--good friends, good family, good food, and good times.

A few highlights:
My flight from Chicago to Indianapolis was delayed long enough that I could driven the distance home twice during my layover, but I was proud of myself for being very patient after 36 hours of traveling. I only felt like crying once.

I actually grinned when I walked out of my house on my way to the dentist and saw that I would have to wipe fresh snow off the car. I got over that pretty quickly.

I visited family in Grand Rapids to celebrate the New Year and got interested in family history documents, which prompted me to take a different way home and take pictures of an old barn that might have been built by my ancestors.

Those pictures were taken with my new camera with lots of snazzy features whose battery charger I proceeded to leave in Indianapolis.

I did NOT put a dent in my father's car when I failed to get up our icy, inclined driveway and drifted dangerously close to a big rock. Instead, I asked for help from Dad. Good things come to those who surrender.

I went sledding with two little boys down the slope in our front yard that is really not so big. Going down is much easier and much more fun.

I caught the bouquet at a friend's wedding. Go ahead and laugh.

I got to play handbells at our church's Christmas Eve service.

I ran into one of my high school English teachers and networked. A little weird.

I watched the Colts lose. Twice. I left the country so they would start winning again.

And so I'm back, thankful for a good holiday and excited (if overwhelmed) to start school again.

And what does "Selamat Tahun Baru" mean?
Happy New Year!

I should be packing...don't tell

In about three weeks, a very tired traveler will walk through the door of my apartment. Now, I want to make things as pleasant as possible for her, so there will be...

-clean sheets on the bed for when she crashes
-tidy right angles and parallel lines to soothe her travel-worn sensibilities (except for the couch which has a new diagonally-oriented location that I love)
-clean floors so she can enjoy being barefoot again
-no dust bunnies or dirty dishes for her to clean
-a neatly folded blanket on the couch for an afternoon nap
-Christmas decorations still up for her to enjoy (I can't help it; I like them too much)
-lentil stew in the freezer waiting to be reheated when she's hungry
-ice cubes and a full jug of water for when's she's thirsty
-clean clothes, especially pajamas, in the closet

Have I forgotten anything?

Just to mention that I can't wait to be leaving tomorrow to go home. My flight leaves at 7:10pm, and the taxi will be here at 3:30pm since I don't take chances with Jakartan traffic. That much is certain, but everything else is in a state of partly to mostly.

The laundry is mostly done (some is still drying).
The suitcase is partly packed (I threw in the Christmas presents but nothing else yet).
Those presents are mostly wrapped (I love bringing home wrapped presents).
The apartment is mostly clean (I still need to sweep and mop tomorrow).
The errands are mostly done (today I obtained chocolate, earrings, adaptors, minutes for my phone, a printed itinerary, newly adjusted glasses, and pencils).
The carry-on is partly packed (in my head, at least).
The dishes are mostly clean and put away (but I keep dirtying new ones, goshdarnit).
The electronics are partly charged (and I still need to sync my iPod).

And I am 100% ready to be home.

What did Laura do yesterday?

How did I spend my first real day of vacation, you ask? (Weekends don't count by the way.)

I woke up early. I called my family. We had a family conference on how/where/when to spend Christmas/the days before/the days after.

I tidied my apartment. Tidied is perhaps to mild a word because there was definitely scrubbing involved. Desperately needed scrubbing.

I did laundry. Is it strange that it still gives me a great deal of pleasure to put my dirty clothes into a laundry machine and not into a bucket?

I watched a lot of Gilmore Girls. I know that I am late getting on this bandwagon, but I am definitely enjoying the ride.

I didn't get dressed all day. Corollary: I didn't leave my apartment all day except to dump the trash down the chute right outside my door.

I made mashed potatoes for lunch. The great thing about living alone is that no one gives a second thought to how much you're eating. They were pretty delicious.

I regretted the amount of mashed potatoes later when I fell into a starch-induced coma and conked out of the couch for most of the evening.

I rallied after the coma for a shower and a couple more episodes of Gilmore Girls and...I stayed up until midnight!

Today will be more interesting, I promise.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

When my birthday package from my parents arrived yesterday, it included a handful of lovely handmade ornaments. Not having a tree to decorate, I could have let them sit in a box somewhere in my apartment, but I got inspired.

As it turns out, a two foot fake Christmas tree with twinkly lights, gold star ornaments, a tinsel garland, red ribbons, and a tin angel on top has an extraordinary power to make me smile.

When I don't feel like doing dishes...

I put on my cute apron in this fabulous print.

I light candles.


I fill my orange bowl with soapy water...

and I whisk.

Three small pleasures = dishes done.

Giving Thanks

Everyone loves an American Thanksgiving meal. Last night, I was one of only a handful of Americans celebrating Thanksgiving with 40 or so people from Indonesia, Australia, Japan, and who knows where else. Forget Obama as the great world unifier. It's turkey.

What's great about spending Thanksgiving overseas is that I get more than one turkey dinner. Early in November we had a Thanksgiving meal at church, my Bible study celebrated mightily last night, and today I'm going over to Joseph and Karla's for a third delicious meal. And my Indonesian Thanksgivings always have something a little unique. At our pitch-in Thanksgiving last year, we had sushi and Indian food, and last night's dessert included chocolate cake and donuts.

I'm pie-maker again this year, and this time I actually have pumpkin (thanks to a little foresight when I was home over the summer and my mother), Crisco (thanks to Karla), and a rolling pin instead of a bottle of sparkling apple cider (thanks to my grandmother). My only trouble is that when I cook something more complicated than dinner for myself, all the deficiencies of my kitchen supplies become readily apparent. I'm supplying mashed potatoes, too for our dinner tonight, and so my thought process this morning went something like this:

Ok, the pumpkin pie filling is in my big red pot and the pie dough is in my orange bowl (thank goodness I planned ahead), but I need the orange bowl to take the potatoes over to Karla's and I need the red pot to cook the potatoes, so I need to make the pie early, so that I can wash dishes and use them for potatoes. The red pot is not that big so I'll probably have to do more than one batch of potatoes, but now that I've put the potato peelings in the orange bowl, I need somewhere to put the cooked potatoes until I mash them. Red cleaning bucket...? No, no, no. I guess I could use the blue strainer until the red pot is done cooking the potatoes and then transfer them to the orange bowl. But if I use the orange bowl for the mashed potatoes, then I can't whip the cream ahead of time, so I'll have to bring my hand mixer plus sugar, whipping cream, and vanilla. I hope Karla has a bowl in which I can whip the cream. Wait, how am I going to juggle mashed potatoes, pie, whipping cream, sugar, vanilla, and hand mixer in the taxi on the way there? Mmm, that pie smells good.

It's all going to be delicious, and Karla finally has an oven big enough to cook the turkey. Last year, Karla prepared the turkey at my apartment, stuck it in my oven and then I babysat it while she made other preparations at their house. We drove the turkey back to her house, and I got all the credit for a turkey I didn't really cook.

We're lucky that we don't have school today because Friday falls on the Islamic holiday Idul Adha. It commemorates Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Isaac, and people generally celebrate by killing livestock and distributing the meat to the less fortunate. I think that spirit of generosity is very appropriate for Thanksgiving.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some red pots, orange bowls, potatoes, and pies to attend to. Happy Thanksgiving!

Recent Pleasantness

I had one of the nicest weekends in recent memory.

Friday, I went with Carol and Disha (expat colleague/friends) into the city for dinner at a cute little bar/lounge that Carol and I found a while ago. Delicious food, excellent company, and even some good people watching.

Saturday, we were required to go to a 30th anniversary celebration for the foundation that supports my school. I was expecting it to ruin my afternoon, so I gave myself an extra nice morning to put me in a good mood. I got coffee and donuts. I talked to my dad and my roommate. I bought myself a new book. I called my sister on the way there. I was a very happy camper who was then pleasantly surprised that the anniversary celebration actually featured some lovely student performances. Who wouldn't be charmed by kindergarten dancers in Indonesian dress dancing to "Jesus Loves Me" played on traditional Balinese instruments?

After the celebration, I headed down to Saturday night church with Carol and Disha. We got there half an hour late, so we decided that a hot coffee would do nicely. It was the rare rainy day in Jakarta when warm drinks actually sound cozy.

We stuck around because there was game night after church. It was a glorious racket of kids and food and charades and four-on-a-couch and all manner of good things.

Sunday, I went to Sunday morning church, heard an excellent sermon, went out to lunch at the yummy Italian place by church (delicious minestrone soup). Then I read some of my new book, took a divine nap, and did some blogging.

Sunday evening, I joined some Saturday night church friends for Christmas movie night. Since we don't have cold weather or crass commercialism to get us in the Christmas spirit, we have to do it ourselves. We watched Elf.

The end.

In Which I Do Not Mention Recent Pleasantnesses

Again, I've been feeling decidedly un-bloggy, but this time, it's not for lack of interesting things to blog about, some pleasant and some decidedly unpleasant.

By way of introduction to the unpleasant, I remember being struck by these words when I first heard them, but I felt particular need to look them up recently.

"I thank Thee first because I was never robbed before; second because although they took my purse they did not take my life; third, because although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth because it was I who was robbed, and not I who robbed."
~Matthew Henry

It has not been easy to be thankful that several hundred dollars was taken from my locked apartment several weeks ago, and I have felt alternately angry, frustrated, stupid, frightened, and cynical but rarely thankful. Yet in the manner of Matthew Henry, I am grateful that it was not my all, that it was probably taken by someone who needs it much more than I do, that it has been a part of my recent reflections on suffering, and that it has spurred me to greater prayer.

And the management of my apartment complex has taken it very seriously, particularly since it seems to be part of a pattern of thefts. They've interviewed all the employees, provided me with a safe, replaced my locks, interviewed me for more information, and replaced the bathroom stall quality sliding bolt on my door with a legitimate bolt and chain. They haven't done what I would really like, which is to say to me, "Don't worry about your bill for the next couple of months," but that would be too much to hope for.

I think it was one of God's little jokes that I discovered the theft the very same day that I gave a morning devotion on suffering. I told the teachers that morning (and I tell you) that I'm not sure that I can sum up my thoughts about suffering very well yet, but a combination of things--a Bible study on Philippians, the death from cancer of the toddler daughter of some acquaintances, reading (again) The Giver, and some Spirit-given urge to research and reflect on Scripture--got me thinking. Thinking not so much about why suffering happens but what it does.

First of all, I don't think suffering was ever intended for us, at least not in the way that we experience it now. But suffering entered the world as a consequence of sin, and with our hurts, confusions, angers, wars, depressions, deaths, harsh words, sicknesses, crimes, hatreds, secret pains, oppressions, griefs, injustices, weariness, aches, and wrongs, we have suffered. Lord, we have suffered.

But something changes with Christ. Christ was sinless and undeserving of suffering, and yet he chooses to enter into the grime of suffering. The image that came to mind recently was from the movie Slumdog Millionaire. In one scene, the protagonist as a little boy is locked by pranksters in an outhouse lifted on stilts over its pit of excrement. If that weren't bad enough, his hero--the Bollywood star whose picture he keeps with him at all times--has just arrived and is giving out autographs not far away. The boy has a choice, and for the sake of something supremely valuable to him, he plunges into the filth, races to his hero, and gets his autograph.

Christ, for the sake of something supremely valuable to him, has entered into the world and its pain. By some mysterious miracle, his Father has heaped honor on him precisely because he chose to suffer (Hebrews 2:9). By some mysterious miracle, we can embrace suffering as a calling to follow in his footsteps (1 Peter 2:20-21). By some mysterious miracle, we can call suffering a kind of grace (Philippians 1:29). By some mysterious miracle, suffering becomes an occasion for greater worship, faith, and service (1 Peter 4:15-16, 19).

Someone once pointed out to me that ugliness is not hard to achieve, but bringing beauty out of ugliness takes creativity and faith in ugly things. Thank goodness for a loving Artist.

My favorite insight came when I read Act 5:41. After the apostles have been publicly humiliated and flogged in the Sanhedrin, I read "The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering for the Name." What a change from the cowardly men who fled the scene of Christ's suffering when he was betrayed in the garden. What a difference Easter makes.

I warned you that I don't have any great summative thoughts about suffering. I don't pretend that my life has been filled with suffering. That would sound pretentious anywhere but particularly so in Indonesia. I don't pretend to know why suffering happens, but I want to be looking for the ways that my God is turning suffering into glory and bringing beauty out of ugliness. I want to offer my meager sufferings as material for sacrifice and opportunities for praise.

My reflection on suffering isn't over. Just this morning, I listened to a sermon about Paul and Silas in the Philippian prison singing hymns of praise to Christ in the dark hours of the night after a day of injustice and pain.

So today I am thankful for one more thing.

I am thankful for a Lord who has also suffered.